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The Emperor’s New Clothes

The Tarot card for 2020 is The Emperor. The Emperor has never been my favorite card in the deck. Nor am I particularly averse to him either. And so at the beginning of this year I figured he would be a somewhat boring focus, but I was determined to make use of this archetype to my advantage.

I had originally set the intention that I would face my financial fears (and I have many of them) and learn to empower myself in the “business” side of my business. And now, in the midst of this pandemic, I am engaging with this archetype in ways I never could have imagined. The Emperor and all he represents are so present and in my face that I honestly cannot see around them to what lies beyond.

So here I am in “Financial Fears Boot Camp.” My household lost 95% of our income in the past month due to the pandemic, and it is unclear when or even if many of those gigs will come back. My partner is a performing and teaching musician and much of my work involved public events and classes. Now, like so many, we find ourselves trying to find new avenues to offer our services in quarantine-safe ways, while homeschooling our children, while navigating the overwhelming and confusing (and ever-changing) paperwork involved with the various economic-relief programs we are applying for, working to ensure our families health and safety, and attempting to create a new budget in the darkness of a complete unknown. We vacillate between feeling deep gratitude for the many blessings we have and frustration for being expected to be productive, creative, and entrepreneurial in the midst of trauma and grief. Our days are a blur of scrambling to catch as many balls before they drop as possible, doing what we can to preserve our health (both mental and physical), and paralyzing anxiety and well I guess shock.

Early this week I finally pulled out The Emperor card from The Dreaming Way Tarot and set him on my desk in front of a stack of the largest books in my library (my makeshift computer-stand for all those video conferences) where I can see him as I work. He is a reminder of what I’m grappling with and that in January I had promised to myself (albeit naively) that by the end of this year I would not be afraid to engage with this archetype anymore.

As my partner and I adjust to groundlessness in alternating bouts of complete awkwardness and surprising moments of grace… we realize there are so many throughout the world who are facing harder loss. We brace for the possibility that there are bigger challenges still ahead. But more and more I am beginning to realize that so much of the discomfort we are feeling is the patriarch’s own discomfort at being told he must go home, he must be passive, he must take shelter in the domestic; that his system on its own is not as strong as he had thought/hoped/insisted. We are starting to notice that the Emperor’s clothing is not what we had been told.

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Personal Year Card

Another focus card you can work with over the course of the year is your Personal Year Card. This card covers you from your most recent birthday to the next one. Calculate this the same way we did the Tarot Birth Card but use the year of your most recent birthday (2019 or 2020) instead of your birth year. I’m a Sagittarius, so my birthday December 2019 to December 2020 works out to be my Temperance year. I’m trying to embrace and relax into the idea that I will be learning how to achieve more balance within my life on both a large and small scale. I know Temperance seems like it should be a relatively “chill” card to have as a focus, but Personal Year Cards have a way of letting us see where we need to shift our attention and do some work. So being open to using Temperance as a part of my personal practice means being attentive to not only the areas of my life that are currently in-balance and clicking-along smoothly but ALSO noticing the areas of my life that are hovering around the extremes. I have to hold my achievements and my perceived failures in equal weight in order to really embrace and benefit from all that this archetype has to offer. This means accepting some current clumsiness for the sake of the longterm goal. Temperance is active; balance is not passive. I work with Temperance now so that I can integrate it into my “normal” for the next year. New year, new lessons. If you choose to work with a Personal Year Card in your practice I suggest thinking of it a bit like a coach or personal trainer… they are there to encourage you, for sure, but the real reason you’ve enlisted them is because they will push you in areas you wouldn’t easily push yourself. (Example of how to calculate a Personal Year Card: June 9th Birthday = 06 + 09 + 2019 = 2034. Then 2 + 0 + 3 + 4 = 9 The Hermit)